My testimony

OMG, its 13:00pm, need to get some breakfast/lunch, wait a minute I haven’t read my open heavens and Bible today. I better get that out of the way before going downstairs….ok, done!


Two hours later…

So what did I learn from the Bible today? Wow, I can’t even remember. Anyway Lord, you know I’m trying, it’s just that I don’t seem to understand what I read. That’s not my fault, is it?

Sunday morning…

Oh my, I’m really enjoying this sleep, wish I could continue. Oh no, I can’t, I need to go to church. That’s what Christians do on Sunday morning, right? Hang on, I should read my Bible and pray before going, no, it doesn’t really matter, that’s what I’ll be doing in church anyway.

During the sermon…

‘You can’t say you are in love with God and go clubbing/raving’- good for me, I don’t club. ‘You can’t say you’re a Christian and you are an adulterer or fornicator’-cool, cool, I don’t do that either. ‘You can’t say you are a Christian and you don’t have a personal relationship with God’- well, *clears throat*, Lord, you know I’m really trying here. I’m not saying You don’t want me or You don’t love me, after all, my pastor says you love me, but things are just not the way they ought to be between us. Ok, this time around, something has got to change. I’ve got to make a move, have got to do something. Yes, a change is coming. This time, I’m for real!

Monday ‘morning devotion’…

I still don’t understand these things. I’m really trying to be good now, but some things are just not clicking. I need help!

On the internet…

Oh look, Claire has added new pictures; it’s probably the ones from her birthday. Hey, I’ve got a message facebook, hope it’s a good one…*hiss* I think I’m going to leave this group, they keep sending me messages about reading new posts on their blog. I’m not interested!

On facebook again…

It’s already 1.30am and I’m still not sleeping. This facebook is so addictive. Whooo, new message…Again, I better leave this group right now. Erm, on second thoughts, let me have a look at the blog… reading, reading, reading, *slowly, I’m breaking down into tears*, wow, God you actually speak, you speak to all of these people, they have a personal relationship with you. *weeping more profusely* God I want this, I want this so badly, fill me with your Holyspirit. Lord please, slowly but surely I begin to say some things. I have no understanding of what they are, and it’s not fluent like I thought it would be. Maybe, I was just saying things on my own. Anyway, I’m sending a message to the blogger, I’m telling her about my experience.

In the evening…

I’m reading her response now “I jumped in thanksgiving to God when I read the few lines”. How can she be so excited when I’m not even sure about what I’m saying. I read on, “don’t let doubts get in your way, just keep speaking. There’s nothing wrong. The thing is your mind doesn’t understand it, so it tells you that you are saying rubbish”. Ok, this is getting clearer.

And from then on…

I just love reading the bible; I understand everything so much better now. Holyspirit, you make everything so easy. I feel like a veil has been taken off my face. I can see everything more clearly now. I hear You through Your word more clearly now. Though, that bit was hard for me to understand. I found it difficult to personalize the Bible; after all, everyone was reading the same thing too. That reminds me, I remember reading Matthew chapter 7 to Matthew chapter 11 one night and there was this verse that caught my attention. By the time I finished reading, I had absolutely no idea where it was. I mean, I was looking for one verse out of the 173 verses I had just read. I asked the Holyspirit, and He told me the EXACT verse. Need I say I was gobsmacked! Unknown to me at that time, that particular verse was the answer to a question I had been asking God for a while. So, He actually does speak through His word, because He is the Word (John 1:1)

God is so awesome in every way, and there is no limit to what can be known about Him. I leave you with this verse Jeremiah 9:23-24

"Thus says the LORD:
“ Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
24 But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the LORD, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight,” says the LORD."