Is my checklist too much to ask?

I write this post at the expense of being classified a 'relationship blog'. You have to understand that there is time for everything, and we have different stages in our life. Perhaps, I'm at this stage! Enjoy!

I know a number of people who see me as one whose standards are "too high". These standards are not just for myself, but also transcend to my future husband. Ok, before I continue, let me run through the checklist I have for my potential husband with you...

1. He must be a born-again Christian.

Oh well, it seems like I've got only one requirement. Now, is that too much to ask? Please bear in mind that in saying he must be a born-again christian, several issues have been covered. e.g. smoking, drinking, clubbing (raving), unfaithfulness e.t.c.
By saying he is a born-again christian, I don't mean just a church-goer (a sunday-sunday kind of I mean a born-again christian in every sense of the word.

Now, I ask again is that too much too ask? No, I don't think so. It's very sad to think that some girls think such a guy does not exist. And if you belong to that school of thought, I'm forced to believe that you're not that type of girl yourself. So darling, go first and set your way straight with the Lord, before you start trying to find your Mr. Right or better still, before you start waiting for your Mr. Right to find you.

Now, to the other side of the spectrum. If you ask some people about their checklist, these are the sort of things you will find on it....

1. Handsome
2. Tall
3. Rich
4. Well-built...
5, Being a God-fearing man wouldn't be a bad idea either

blah, blah, blah. Where have all these ever gotten anyone? What's the point of desiring a handsome man and at the end of the day, anytime he goes out without you, you're calling him every 30minutes, just to make sure he is where he said he went to. Or worse still, you frown at every female waitress that goes out of her way to be nice to your 'handsome' husband. Who will be getting the wrinkles and high blood pressure eventually?

Oh, you're not so interested in the handsome bit, you say. All you ask for is for him to be tall, considering that you're not so tall yourself. Hmmn, good idea, makes it easier for him to put you underneath him and give you a good beating anytime you both have an argument, right? By the way, you can easily cook up stories about how the pot of soup poured on you when you're colleagues ask about the oringin of the numerous marks on your body.

Common, asking for him to be loaded (rich) isn't too much. Afterall, he needs to be the head, right? Yes, it's true. But should being rich come at the cost of the children not having their dad around on their 1st birthday because he's attending an 'important business meeting" or never helping with their homeworks which mum has no clue about because he has to stay back to work overtime? Or is it having numerous lonely nights that sounds attractive to you? No? But you asked for it the day you decided to put these as your first four requirements, right before 'God-fearing'.

What exactly am I getting at, you ask? Are all these listed above bad things? Of course not. Do I want them, of course I do. But at the expense of him being born again? Certainly not.

Having said all these, it doesn't mean that every born-again christian brother that seems to like you is 'the one' for you. This is where God comes in. He has your best interest at heart, He knows your end from your beginning, He has your life planned out, even before you were created (Ephesians 2:10; Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 139:16; John 1:12). Or are you already married and now you've decided to come to Christ and it seems like you've married the wrong person? There is a solution, and it isn't divorce. It's in Romans 8:28 ...all things work together for good to them that love God...

Please note that it's not a sin to ask God for specifics like he should be fair, dark and so on. Afterall, I have one too (*now whispering in your ears* lol). And the bible also says in Matthew 7:7 that we should ask and we shall be given. It only becomes a problem when these are your top priority or must-haves as against add-ons.

I hope this blesses us all.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave comments, questions, suggestions and so on.

Tomi Lawal
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"Men will always be men"

Men will always be men. I mean, they could cheat from time to time, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They are just being themselves.
Does any of that sound familiar? Yes? I thought so too. Well honey, it’s not normal. It’s not the way things should be. The bible says “do not be conformed to this world…”. If the world let’s you believe that men would always cheat and there’s nothing you can do about it, don’t conform to that ideology. The fact that it happens so often does not and would never make it right. You are made for great things, don’t settle for less.
There’s no doubt that a good looking guy/girl is always pleasant to look at, but what’s far more important is what lies beneath the pretty face, the well-built body, the tall frame or the slim body. Proverbs 31:30 says “Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! Go deeper, stop looking at the superficial things, that will fade off.

Ever heard of the phrase “my better half”? Of course you have…lol! This phrase immediately gives us the idea that we are incomplete and we need someone to complete us. In other words, we are half, and we need another half. But, I completely disagree. Why, you ask? Well, it’s because the bible which is the truth says that “…and the TWO shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:31). Notice that it says two, not half. Hence, it is two wholes, not halves that make one. Of course, that defies standard arithmetic and logic, but like I said, it’s the bible, it’s the truth and I believe it.
So, quit trying to make yourself complete in another man or woman and run to God to make you complete and perfect (Matthew 5:48).
I hope this blesses us all. Please feel free to leave questions, comments and suggestions and I will get back to you in due course.

Tomi Lawal
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