Reality check- Do you Really Believe the Bible?

If I ask if you believe the creation story- how God created all things by the Words of His mouth, you'll probably scream 'yes'. And why do you believe it? Well, maybe because you've heard it constantly from your childhood or probably because it seems logical to you (considering you don't believe the evolution story that science teaches you) or maybe you just think it's the basics of Christianity. Why you believe this is not subject of this post today, but rather, why you would believe some parts of the bible over others.

I just heard a song now about "waiting for God, standing in His presence". This was a live performance to a relatively large audience and immediately I thought "this song isn't factually correct, not in this context at least". Why, you ask? Well, my bible tells me in Matthew 18:20 that where two or three are gathered together in HIS NAME, there He is in the midst of them. This was Jesus speaking to the disciples. So in that context, Jesus was already there in their midst hence, there's no way they could be waiting for Him.

This brings me to the question of why we doubt parts of God's Word but believe other parts. Is it because somethings seem too good to be true or "too easy" (in the words of Apostle Charles Ndifon *inside joke*)? 

Sometimes, when we read the scriptures it may seem as though the writers were writing their own thoughts or personal stories, but remember 2 Timothy 3:16 where the bible tells us that ALL scripture is given by inspiration of God and it's for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness. So even when the David says in Psalm 139:14, don't think it's only David that was fearfully and wonderfully made, it's the same scenario with you too. 

This post is as much for you as it is to myself. All I want to ask is that henceforth, as you study your bible, take God's word for what it is. Believe what it says without ANY doubts or second guessing. It's the TRUTH. Don't let anyone or any situation tell you otherwise.

I leave you with some truths about you that I found in the bible

1. You are the light of the world and the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13-14; Philippians 2:15b)

2. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)

3. There is no longer condemnation for you, because you are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)

4. The thoughts He thinks towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11)

5. You are a Son of God because you've received Him. (John 1:12).

I could go on and on, but I'll let you search the scriptures yourself!

Love, 

Tomi

Can guys and girls be 'just friends'?

Hi everyone,

Hope you're well? This (blogging) is the last thing I should be doing right now. I have a group debate tomorrow morning and I'm supposed to write something towards it, which I haven't done yet. I hope none of my group members see this. lol

Anyway, I just read an article on Bella Naija and that inspired this post. What do you think about this- 'Can guys and girls be 'just friends' and how long for? By the way, when I say friends, I don't mean just acquaintances, I mean like really good friend/close friends. Don't you think at least one party would end up 'liking' the other sooner or later? What are your thoughts? More importantly, what are your experiences?

Leave a comment below, I want to read from you :)

xx

Here's what I've been up to...

One of the things I love about being back at Uni is that I no longer have the 'Sunday evening fever'. You know the thought of starting a new week and going to work? Yeah, that. It was quite depressing. Ok ok, I exaggerate. But that just gives you an idea of what it was like. I'm glad it's over and by God's grace, once I start work again, I would actually enjoy it and look forward to it. So this is me saying farewell it 'Sunday evening fever'.

Anyway, the purpose of this is just to bring you up to speed with what's been going on with me. I started my Masters about two weeks ago and it's been good, it's going well. One thing I've noticed though, the library is always pretty full and it's just beginning of term. I can only attribute this to one of two things (or both). 1) New term enthusiasm- you know when you start the new school year and you make up your mind to be very diligent. In the first, second and third week you keep to your promise, by the fourth week, you start to falter bit by bit and by the fifth week, you can be found anywhere but the library. Yea, that. It's very similar to a new year resolution. 2) The other reason I attribute to the library being full is that people are actually scholars and the work load actually pushes you to the library. My gut feeling is that it's actually more of the second reason. But anyway, time will tell. Hopefully, I will still be at the library to carry out the experiment :D

My summer felt like it was really packed, but I can't exactly tel, you what it was packed with. I can't remember doing anything as such, but I just felt like life was moving so fast and I always had something on my mind. Actually, I know what happened, work was quite stressful. I got back really late most days. The the main reason though, was that I had drifted from God and so I just always felt like I was carrying the weight of the world. But thank God, I mended my ways and I'm back with my Lover (I wrote a note about this on Facebook. If you're friends with me on FB, you can check it out). It was also because of this that I stopped blogging, I just couldn't. This period also made me realise that I really couldn't do anything without God- even everyday tasks and when I did do them, it would take so much effort on my part.

I was also looking to get a scholarship for my Masters and I was waiting for that in the earlier part of summer and the waiting period was quite tense and unfortunately, I didn't get it :(

So yes, this is just me bringing you up to speed with my life since July (which was when I last blogged). I'll try and do this more often, blog I mean, but I'm making no promises...lol.

P.s- I've seen a few blogs where people have weekly segments such as 'Monday chit chat or Monday Morning banter'. Should I start something like that? If yes, what are your suggestions? What would you like to have me blog about weekly? I have to add though, the big question is can I commit to it? Anyway for starters, just leave your suggestions below and we'll take it from there.

Love
xxx

Dear Diary- Part 2

Monday, 02 December 2002

Dear Diary,

Today was really tough for me. I walked past a couple of girls talking about how excited they were about the upcoming Christmas break and the memories just came flooding in. *Sigh*

It's almost 10 years, but I am still the most unhappy person. I have to admit this, I'm sad, I live a sad life. My days are filled with torments from my past, I have no friends and no family. As much as I hate to admit it, Mrs Morgan was right, I had a very sad childhood. But why should I get the blame for it? My parents killed each other during a very heated argument on Christmas eve and the 5 year old me had to witness it. Not just me, my twin brother was there too. And then two years after that, the said brother died in his sleep in my aunt's house on Christmas day, that was the end of him. How do you even make sense of that? You can't imagine what I was going through at that time, no Stacey, you have no idea.

Dear Diary- Part 1

Monday, 04November 2002

Dear Diary,

9am

It's 9am, I am pacing back and forth the corridor and becoming visibly upset as I wait for Mrs Morgan.

"what right thinking human would fix an appointment for 08:30, knowing fully well that early mornings was an impossible task for them?" .

I really hate this, I really do.  

9:20am

Mrs Morgan finally turned up. And yes, you guessed right, I went nuts on her. Well, it wasn't my fault, she asked for it. I mean, she had the guts to tell me off for rolling my skirt up. She can't even do something as simple as keep to time, but then she thinks it's okay to read out the school's constitution to me and make sure I adhere to them and what's worse she managed to convince the head teacher to book me in for another guidance and counselling session...argh!

08:30pm

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Nothing happened. I'm going to bed now Stacey, yes Stacey, I'm sure you love your new name.

Friday, 08November 2002

Dear Diary,

08:30pm

Remember when I said I wouldn't get into any trouble for the rest of the week? Good. I was keeping to that until Kevin came to sit right opposite me during lunch.

Do you remember Kevin? The same one that I had the "little" incident with in year 7, yes that one.

So, I'm sitting by myself as usual and next thing I know, he's sitting right opposite me. I just couldn't hide my disgust and I packed up my lunch and tried to leave the table. But no, he wasn't having it. He held on to my tray as tightly as possible and in the process of trying to get it off him, he spilled my drink. That just did it for me.

Stacey, I have to say, up until this point, I had said nothing to him, just because I was trying to keep my promise to you. But, I'm pretty sure you would agree with me that he was  at fault. You do right? I always knew I could count on you, my very best friend. You know everything and I mean every single thing, but yet you don't judge me. Well, maybe that's because you've got no mouth to speak and you're just  a diary. Sigh, I always forget that. But it doesn't matter, in my world you exist and that's all that matters.

So back to my story, I don't know what happened, all I know was I could feel my fist making haste to meet with his face, I tried to stop me, but I couldn't.
Few minutes later and we were both standing in front of the Principal, Mr Graham. God knows I hate that man's guts. Hahaha, funny I said God, he doesn't exist. You of all people know that Stacey, we've been through it all together. Where was the so called god then?.

Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling now and just say I got into detention AGAIN! I'm sorry I let you down Stacey. I'm going to bed now and once again, I'm sorry!

Tuesday, 12 November 2002.

Dear diary,

Today is my second meeting with the guidance counsellor- Mrs Morgan. I'm sure you can tell how upset I am. Seriously though, why are people so quick to attempt to fix other people's problems when they can't even do anything about their pathetic lives? Wasn't it just a couple of months ago that she got divorced. Why couldn't she fix that? Anyway, I'm gonna go now, wish me luck Stacey! x

"Tell me more about yourself Coralie, where you grew up, what growing up was like, you know? Just everything, I want to get to know you."

Those were Mrs Morgan's exact words to me. Honestly, such nerves she's got. But I indulged her a little and answered as sharply as I could. Guess what her next words were?

"Hmmn, from what I gather so far, the problem stems from your childhood. You did not have a very happy one, did you?"

At that point Stacey, I had had enough. You know how much I can't stand it when people say I have a problem or talk about my childhood.

 "That's it Ms, I have had enough. Don't you stand there and tell me I have problems or that my childhood wasn't right. How about you fix yours first, huh? Oh sorry, I forgot you've got no problems, cause you're perfect. The problem is with everyone else but yourself. All you counsellors, therapists or whatever you call yourselves are the same"  I finished.

At this point Stacey, I was so exhausted and I stormed off.

I've had enough Stacey, I really have. Why can't the world just leave me alone? Why should it be a problem that I don't have any friends at school or talk to anyone in this care home. I get the grades required at school, do my chores here, isn't that good enough? I'm not an angry kid, I just like to be by myself. I hate people, yes that's true, but I don't take it out on them except the cause me to, of course.

I think I'm loosing it, Stacey. Of late, I've been having suicidal thoughts. Wouldn't it be better if I just end it now? Then I'm sure my soul with be at peace, away from this wicked world. Stacey, Stacey, don't go quiet on me, I'm loosing it...

 ***

P.S- This is a new series and it would run for the rest of July on Wednesdays.  As usual, use the comments box below and tell me what you think xx

New blog segment- OOTD: Summer!

One thing that really gets to me these days is the way people dress. Nudity has become the new trend. It's almost as though people believe you can't look good and fashionable until you show some skin. Even people who are supposed to be christians are joining the bandwagon, forgetting that their bodies are His temple (1 Corithians 6:19) and conforming to the world, rather than being transformed by His Word (Romans 12:2)

 

In this new segment on my blog tagged OOTD- Outfit of the Day, I aim to show outfits that we as christians can wear and still look good and fashionable without being indecent. I know I'm not the most fashion forward person, but I believe, I do make an effort, sometimes. Lol.

 

My first feature is a summer collection, hope you enjoy it!

xx

P.S- This first post features just me, but going forward, I'll like you to feature you in it too. So please send me pictures of you looking fashionable and standing for Christ.

 

A pink floral maxi dress and black bulero

Black maxi skirt with pleats, fitted orange lace top and black fold-over jacket

A white tee, grey jacket and grey jeggins/jeans

A blue printed tee



Shorts and a matching Polo

Black polka-dot jumpsuit and a white bulero



Green blazer, matching earrings and neck-piece

Just a very casual summer look.





Short Story: We're Getting Married 2

It was 8:15am and I had been waiting for Toby to pick me up to his church on that Sunny  Sunday morning. He invited me to the special Youth event at his church in Romford. The event saw all youths take over the church that Sunday and do everything including giving the sermon. At this point, we were still 'just friends' well, kinda. Ok, I'll explain

He had already asked me to be his wife (not even girlfriend) four weeks after we met. In all honesty, that word- wife- scared me. Prior to this, I had always thought I had been preparing myself for marriage and all that was left was for my husband to show up. But when that became a reality, surprisingly, I freaked out. I liked Toby, no doubt and I was certain he was "the one". The Holyspirit had told me this and I even got confirmations through my best friend and my mum, but still, I had not said yes to him. Why, you ask?

Well, I guess a part of me just wanted him to 'work' for it. You know, I wanted to look back 10 years and be able to say I made him wait 3 months before I said yes. You can blame it on my ego, oh yes, girls have egos too. Each time he asks, my response would always be- "I'm praying Toby, I'm praying". After I gave him the same response when he asked last week, he looked straight into my eyes and said in the most romantic voice ever "take however long you want, but just so you know, I'm not leaving". My heart literally melted when he said this.

After waiting about 15 minutes for him to pick me up for church, he finally rang me  "Hey dear, please can you walk to Norwood Junction, we're running late". "Err okay, I'll just change to my flats". I replied as I hurriedly left my house. There was no way I was walking up that hilly road wearing 6inch heels. We got to Norwood Junction about the same time and he sped off as soon as I got into his car.

He explained he had a wardrobe malfunction that morning, hence, his lateness. I took a quick glance at him and said "well, the final product is impressive". "Tee, did you just give me a compliment?" he asked in a rather surprised manner. "Yes or does it not sound like one?" I replied. "Well, no, I mean yes, but this is the first compliment you've ever given me and I mean ever" he emphasised. "Ohh Toby, that's a lie. I'm sure I've given you several compliments" I said as I began thinking hard on one. I couldn't really think of any, so just before he got a chance to ask me to remind him of one, I said "well, maybe not. But that's because you always look good", I said with a cheeky tone. The thing is, with Toby, I had been overly cautious not to give away that I was head over heels in love with him, but then, I think I overdid it and he even began to doubt whether or not I was actually into him at all. "Well, one thing is certain today, I shall be walking extra tall. The most important lady in my life thinks I look good" he said jokingly as we pulled up at Trinity Chapel, his church.

The service was amazing and it was time to go home, but Toby wasn't ready to leave just yet. He wanted to introduce me to his pastor and his wife. It appeared he had told them so much about me and the pastor's wife, pastor Ruth even asked to speak to me privately. She was very friendly, but also asked lots of questions, including when I planned on saying 'yes' to Toby. We both laughed when she said that. "Well young lady, Toby, Pastor and I have all prayed about you individually and collectively and we have peace about it. But don't let that put pressure on you, until you're sure and you've heard God for yourself, don't move an inch, okay?" she advised. A part of me wanted to tell her I was sure and God had spoken to me directly, but I decided against it.  "Thank you very much Pastor Ruth and it's been a pleasure meeting you" I said as we hugged each other. Finally, we were ready to leave.

"So how was the service?" Toby asked as we drove home. "It was brilliant, I enjoyed every bit of it. Well, except for the part when the ladies from your youth group almost killed me with their eyes as soon as they found out you invited me, especially the slim one in the red dress" I smiled. "Hahaha, you're funny Tee" he said. "Wait until I actually tell them we're official" he continued. "And when are you planing on doing that?" I asked with a huge grin on my face. Immediately, Toby pulled over and spoke slowly as he asked "are you...saying we are now...official?" I gave a huge smile and hugged him as I said "yes". With tears in his eyes, he said "let's pray darling, I want us to start this with God".

***

Save the Date!

Tade weds Toby

Date: 6 December 2014

Time: 10:00am

Where: 123, High Street, Brentwood, Essex. CM14 2CH

RSVP: 07712345678

***

Just before you close the browser, use the comments box below and tell me what yo

u think xx.

Short Story: We're getting married.

I walked back home from work that evening, extremely tired and miserable. My manager, Lee had been  especially horrible to me all through the day; changing the deadlines that two of my reports were due by, without even having the courtesy to inform me earlier and then coming to me just before close of business to inform me. It was the worst day I had had in a long time.

 I decided to stop by the Fish and Chips shop- the last thing I could imagine doing when I got home was cooking. Guess what? The shop was closed! You can only imagine my rage at that point.
"I hate living in this so called posh areas. How is it that there is only ONE fish 'n' chips shop and it closes at 10pm? I fumed as I wondered if the day could get anymore worse. But hey, I was wrong. Less than 2 minutes to my final destination, some man in a white Range Rover thought it nice to ask me for directions to an area I've only lived in for two weeks? Oh you guessed right, I gave him a piece of my mind and stormed off.

Fast forward three weeks after that incident and I was out visiting a client site. Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm a Management consultant. My iPhone battery was flat and I stupidly did not copy off the address to where I was going before my phone went off. Having said that though, it was Canary Wharf and someone was bound to know where KPMG was, I thought to myself.
"Hi, sorry to interrupt you, but do you know where KPMG is? I asked two men sat in Wasabi having what seemed like lunch, a rather early lunch I'd say as it was only 11:46am. But that's besides the point.
"Oh no, that's fine. KPMG is just round the corner. Take this exit and..." suddenly he stopped and began starring at me intently.
"You look really familiar, have we met? He asked me.
"Err, I wouldn't have thought so. But it's...." he cut me off before I finished.
"Oh yes I remember" he started off. "Look how the tides have turned now? I can't believe you'd ask me for directions". I was completely lost. I had no clue what he was on about.
"I'm not quite sure what you're referring to?" I smiled.
"Well, three weeks ago? In Brentwood? Late at night? White Range? Directions?" he replied.
Immediately, it all came rushing back. I remembered vividly what he was talking about.
"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I had a particularly bad day. I'm not like that, I promise" I was genuinely sorry.
Long story short, he made me give him my contact number before he carried on with the description to KPMG. Truth be told though, I wanted to give it to him.

Toby (yes, that's his name) was is every inch a gentle man. Pull out chairs for me on dates, hold the door open while I walked majestically into his car and most importantly- he was a tongue-speaking, Spirt-filled born again Christian. I had one thing against him though, he has this 'I know best attitude'.

I mean the other day, on our way back from dinner on a Friday night. I advised him to go through the B186 route which is hardly ever busy, rather than the M25 which mostly has traffic on Friday and Saturday nights. After we argued about it for a few minutes and in a civil manner, I must add, next thing he says "I'm telling you M25 is the best route". It wasn't so much about what he said but how he said it. Honestly, I was a bit scared. Immediately, he began apologising and telling me how it's an issue for him. He said he's talked to God about it and he is really working on it as it stops him from being a good team player. In his own words, "and I know marriage is all about team work" he said with a big grin. I smiled and began making my way out of the car as we had now reached my flat. Just before I could get out, he pulled me back gently and said "you do know I'm going to marry you, right?". I laughed so hard, trying hard to ignore all the butterflies in my stomach "we're talking marriage now are we?" I said, as I was rather lost for words. I hastily made my way out of the car before he got a chance to answer back.

I lay on my bed that night, grinning sheepishly and tossing left and right on my king sized bed. I couldn't believe how God had blessed me with the most amazing man the world. "But Daddy, that weakness he's got is quite a big deal" I said to God. "We're working on it"  I heard the Holyspirt whisper back. I sent one quick text, just to thank him for a wonderful night just before I slept off.

Diary of a Deprived Girl- 1

Surely, something was wrong; it shouldn’t take them so long to reply. No call, no text, no email, nothing. I had now exhausted all options in trying to reach them, but still, I knew something had to be done and before close of work too. I couldn’t afford to spend the entire evening trying to open a single email.

The internet in my house, well my mum’s house was frustrating. Just last week, Terry missed his very first job interview, just because he could not check his email. I blame him partially though, he should be generous enough to get himself a good phone with internet access. Common, it’s the 21^st century.

Whilst mum had always complained about my very short attention span, I found it to be a blessing at times like this. Thinking about other things temporarily relieved my anxiety. “I’ll give it another 10minutes, if I still don’t hear anything then I’d give them a ring” I said to myself. I set my alarm, but there was really no need for that as I checked the clock every other minute. My alarm went off, I refreshed my email one last time, and there it was, the message I had been waiting for.

“Dear Tracy,

We reviewed your application with such keen interest, but we are sorry to…”

No, not again, no way, this can’t be happening, I did it right this time. With tears streaming down my face, I tried to think about a way out, but there seemed to be none in sight. I cleared my desk and went to speak to my manger, I had to let him know, I would be completely useless to the company for the rest of the afternoon, not with the state I was in.

***

What? You’ve got to be kidding me…Oh no, this can’t be true. You’re a waste, a complete waste. How did I end up with you? You have no idea how it felt hearing those words from the man I loved most in the world, the man I planned to say ‘I do’ to in a few months. Each word he said felt as though my skin was being pierced with a sword.

Theodore and I had our fights, but we soon resolved them and moved on. Most times, I ended up apologizing and practically begged him to stay with me even though he was mostly wrong. He was very good-looking, tall and dark, just the way I liked my men. I, on the other hand was in my late-twenties, my beauty was beginning to fade away (at least, that’s what mum said- that woman *sigh*). I couldn’t let him go, I couldn’t deal with yet another break-up and most of all, my biological clock was ticking.

You know what, I’m leaving and before I get back, there better be good news or else…

Or else, he would leave me. He did not need to say it, I had heard it all before, not once, not twice and not even from him alone. All the men I had had a close relationship with all left me at some point, excluding my father. He was the only man that loved me. Although mum took me away from him when they got divorced, the 7year old that I was then still knew He loved me. I slumped to the ground and wept more profusely, with each word Theodore or Tee as I fondly called him re-playing in my head.

Asides his physical appearance, I couldn’t really understand why I was with him. For starters, he was jobless and each time I talked about it, he would blow up a fuse and accuse me of not loving him unconditionally. Truth is, I did or at least I thought I did. Secondly, he was a cheat. I and my friends had seen him with FOUR different women in the past 8months of our relationship. Each of those times, I threatened to leave him but he would beg so hard and even cry. I couldn’t stand to watch him cry; it broke my heart each time I saw a tear drop from that chubby cheeks of his, but I couldn’t understand why the feeling wasn’t mutual.

I opened my eyes only to find out that it was 7am and I was still lying there on the floor, in my work clothes. I was about to get up when I felt a piece of paper by my arms as I stretched.

It read “Dear Tracy, had to leave for my family reunion. Your mum called, she said your dad is no more…I’m so sorry” What???

Let's Talk

Hello people,

What's good? Everything I hope. Anyway, this isn't really like a normal post, but I just thought it would be nice to get to know my readers a lot better. Tell me more more about you (apart from what I might already know, obviously. Lol). What do you do? Where are you from? Hobbies? How you met Christ and any other interesting thing you would like to share. Likewise, if there's anything you want to know about me, feel free to ask :)

Secondly, if there are a questions you want to ask, anything you need advice on or anything you want us to agree together in prayer for, please feel free to message me or just leave a comment below. My email address is tomilolalawal@gmail.com

The whole idea is to get this blog a lot more interactive. So fire away in the comments section below :D

P.s- this is the time for all you silent readers to make yourself known. Lol

Look forward to reading from you.
xx

Who is He to you?

Many times we say God is the Almighty, the Creator of heaven and earth, the One who creates all living beings, but do we really act as though that's true? Think about it. I'll ask you a few questions and your answer will determine what you really believe.

You have a job and you know your boss doesn't like you and would be more than delighted to have you fired. That's your only source of income, you have dependants which you cater for and ever increasing bills, so the last thing that you want to see happen is to be fired. As a result, you are constantly frightened, sucking up to your boss and what not. But do you for one moment remember God has the creator of that job and even the boss? Do you remember Him as the one who can shut the door that no one can open and the open the door that no one can shut?

Ok, here's another example. You need some money for something really important. You're 'trusting' God will provide, but at the back of your mind, you feel your family will help you out if no miracle happens. Who are you really trusting in? God or your family? At best, what you've got is hope, not faith. Faith has no plan B. there's no doubt in faith. It's either it happens or it happens. You get my drift?

I just want you to take a moment, evaluate your life and think about who/what you've been dependent on in the past and even right now. Understand that no boss/job/family/achievements holds your life. God does. He actually has the whole world in His hands (Psalm 24:1). You're always on His mind, He's more than capable of taking care of you, if you let him of course.

All things are working together for your good, as long as you're abiding in Him (Rom 8:28). You're life is hid in Him (Colossians 3:3), so trust in Him today and everyday as you walk in His will.

This is me- 2

"Hey darling,I'm in town, we should hang out this weekend or something. What do you think?- Debz"

Debbie had sent the message before she realised she sent it to 'Yemi 1'. 'Yemi 1' was her ex boyfriend who she had a very messy break-up with. The message was supposed to be sent to Yemi, her childhood friend.

"Damn it, how could I have done that. Oh my gosh, he's ringing back already. What do I do?

Debbie- Hey Yemi, it's Debbie. Sorry that message was supposed to be sent to Yemi Williams. Hope you're good though? I didn't even know you were in town. She said quickly, before even giving him a chance to speak.
Yemi- It's fine, you don't have to explain anything. I understand. And yea, I'm very well, you? Came in a few days back" he responded in a rather matured manner.
Debbie couldn't hide her surprise.
Debbie- Oh wow, you've changed. You sound a lot calmer and laid back. Hmmn, that's nice. I'm doing very well myself. Anyway, it was nice to hear from you again. Have a great night.
Yemi- Thanks, you too.

"Goodness, gracious, this guy's voice does wonders to me. I can't fall into this, I can't". She hid her phone under her pillow and left her room quickly, as though she was running away from her feelings.

That weekend, she met up with Yemi Williams at the cinema.

The Silverbird Cinema was packed full with children, teens and youths alike. After almost every 10 steps, there would be a group of over-excited youths taking pictures with their expensive phones and tablets. Debbie hurried down the foyer in her blue Jeans, pink tank top and her black DKNY bag as Yemi Williams had been waiting for her for over half an hour.

"OMG Yemi, I haven't seen you in like forever. How have you been? Gosh, I love your hair, is it Brazilian and this top, I'm definitely stealing it". Debbie said, all at once. "Wow Debz, relax. One question at a time" Yemi replied as both girls laughed. After about an hour of catching up, they both decided against watching a film and went to have a meal instead.

"I saw him a couple of days ago and yes, he does seem like he's matured a bit. But you know what they say, once a player, always a player" Yemi told Debbie after she had narrated what happened to her. "And you're telling me this because?" Debbie asked rhetorically, "Sweetheart, I have a boyfriend, so don't worry about it." Debbie continued. "I'm not worried, I'm just saying. Plus, I want to believe you haven't forgotten how your two-year relationship with him played out". "Stop it Yemi, I haven't forgotten and I don't need you to remind me. You know what, let's get out of here. I need to rest my head". Debbie answered back. Yemi got the message immediately. She knew there was no way she could get Debbie to change her mind about leaving. She got up immediately, leaving her half-eaten pasta at the table.

"Where have you been Deremi? You said you were going to Paris for a few days and yet Mrs Daniels said she saw you at Hilton Hotel in Abuja?" Debbie could overhear the conversation between her Dad and Mum in the study as she got back home. She moved closer, so she could listen more closely.
"Look woman, the meeting was re-scheduled to Abuja as the minister was in Abuja at the time." Her dad replied.
"But you should have told me dear". Her mum said. "Oh, so I now need to tell you my every move? Well, in that case, I'm going to take a shower, after which I'll have my dinner and then watch Match of the Day on Sky Sports at exactly 10pm? Is that good enough for you?" Her dad asked sarcastically. His voice got closer, so Debbie ran back towards the main entrance, just so it seemed as though she just got in.

She mustered all the strength in her to sound excited as she shouted "hey Daddy" as he got out of the study, slamming the door. "Oh my darling, how are you? Your mother didn't tell me you were back" he said. "Oh really? Anyway, I'm here now. And yes, I'm very well, thank you, yourself? Debbie asked. She noticed her dad got distracted and realised he just got a message on his phone. Immediately, she knew it was one of his mistresses as he got  very fidgety. "Deborah, can we talk later, I have to get in touch with a client now. But yes, I'm okay myself" her dad said. This was not new to her at all. It had happened time and time again. He would ignore his family to attend to his 'clients'. "Clients indeed", she mustered under her breath. "What did you say?" her dad asked as he walked off. Shocked, Debbie said "oh no, I meant we'll talk later". She didn't realise he had heard her.

Debbie went straight to her room, not even bothering to check that her mum was okay. Besides, this argument she had heard between her parents was a lot less heated than they normally are.

"Hey, look who we have here" Debbie said to Yemi, her ex as she ran into him at the car park. He smiled excitedly and walked towards her as they hugged tightly. "Wow, you've changed, but still looking dapper as ever". Debbie couldn't stop herself from giving him a compliment. His dark complexion beautifully complimented his green Ralph Lauren polo and shorts. His six foot frame was to die for. Debbie, always had a weakness for tall, dark guys. That was what attracted her to him in the first place. That was three years ago, when she was taking her A'levels at Bridge House College, Ikoyi. He on the other hand was taking his SAT.

"Thanks dear, you look stunning yourself. Where are you headed?" Yemi asked. "I just came to buy an iPhone charger, mine is broken" she replied. "How about we catch-up over lunch once you're done? I mean, only if it's okay with you" he quickly added. "Yea, sure. Erm, I'll call you once I'm done?" She said. "Yup, sounds like a plan" he replied as they both walked out of the car park.

"And what drinks would you both like with that" the waiter asked. Debbie went first, "a glass of lemonade will do". "A glass of water for me please" Yemi added in a fine American accent. "Ahn, Ahn, you don turn Americanah o." Debbie teased.

After about 15 minutes of general talk. Yemi launched into the reason he brought her out to launch in the first instance.
"I'm really, really sorry about what happened between us, Debbie" he began. "I was young, ignorant and plain stupid, to be honest. The cheating, the emotional abuse and the pain I caused you... I mean, I'm not trying to make excuses or anything. But I just thank God that's not who I am anymore. Jesus has completely changed me". Debbie couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Yemi? Have I heard you right? You? Talking about Jesus? Wow" Debbie interrupted. He smiled as he continued. "Two years ago, I'd have said the same myself, but He completely changed me, you should give him a try too". Even before he finished, Debbie cut him off "err, this is getting aw..kward. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but this convo is a bit uncomfortable for me and I fear if I stay here any longer I'm most definitely going to say something that will offend you or your faith. So let's just leave it at that, shall we?" "If that's what you want, then yes. But my main purpose of coming here was to just to let you know how deeply sorry I am and to ask for your forgiveness. He answered back. "Well, there you have it, you're forgiven. Like I said, I'll have to leave n0w. Do take care of yourself". Debbie said as she got up to leave. "thanks Debbie, you too. Have a safe flight back to London tomorrow". "I will" she replied and walked off.

This is me- Part 1

"It's not what you think, it's different this time, I promise", Debbie said as she hung up.

Tania couldn't understand it. The last time something like this happened, Debbie had sworn to her best friend it would never repeat itself. Debbie was losing herself, and there was nothing she could do to help her, Tania sighed.

"How does this look? Hot or hottt?" Debbie asked Tania, whilst simultaneously checking herself out in the mirror. 

"Well, that's not good enough, I ne...oh my god, where is that black dress I got from Zara? Oh, thank goodness, there it is. Now this is definitely hottt?"

"Yes babes, it's hottt. Argh, I can't believe you're making me do this. I promised My mum I was off clubbing till exams are over" Tania said in the least enthusiastic voice.

"Please stop moaning already". Debbie finished off.

 *Instagram*

61 likes

*snap snap* #instahappy #bestfriends #hotties #clubbing #Fridayfun

     View all 12 comments

Miss_tique- OMG Debz, I'm stealing that dress. xx

iLoveMe- awww, see my babies. You both look hawt. Have fun!

DareyV- and this is one of the many reasons why I miss you :(

Pretty-me-Debz- awww, thanks everyone. Y'all are far too kind *muah*

"Damn it, 12 missed calls. There was a reason I didn't answer it the first 11 times. Arghh." 

"Debbie, my mum has called 12 times, who does that? Gosh, I don't know what to tell her." 

"Grow some balls Tania, she's a continent away. Tell her you were studying at mine and left you phone or just think of something babes" 

"Yea, whatever" Tania hung up.

"L-o-l, I'm only in Nigeria for 2 weeks, I'm sure you'll survive, sweets". Debbie told Frank as  they walked back home from the cinema hand-in-hand. 

"Yea, yea, I'm sure I will. Anyway, what time is your flight again? 8? Cool, I'll pick you up at 4 then. Take care of you babe" Frank finished off as he bade Debbie goodbye

Lagos had not changed one bit. The traffic was still as hectic, the potholes still adorned the roads, the bus conductors still screamed at top of their voices- "one more chance, one more chance, enter with your change o'.

How I love this city, Debbie thought to herself as she sat back in her chauffeur-driven car and tuck into her kindle as Sanusi, one of her drivers drove her home from the airport.

"Welcome aunty, how London? You remember me? Na Lizzy o. Wetin you bring come? The voices of the three maids echoed in her head as they spoke simultaneously, welcoming her back to her Ajah home. Her house hadn't changed much either. The lovely front garden was still well mowed, the massive 6 bedroom duplex still had the same colour theme- green and the house was impeccably tidy.

"Mum, Lagos hasn't changed a bit" 

"What did you expect?" her mum retorted as they hugged each other in a tight embrace.

"How is England, my darling? Still cold? Her mum asked.

"Same ol', same ol' . It actually snowed in Scotland a few days back, can you believe it and it's April already. Oh, why am I even telling you this, you've  refused to visit me for the past six months" Debbie said, sulking.

"Come on, don't be like that darling. I really wanted to, it's just because Sandra was finding it very difficult to settle into College, so I had to be in America, then there's this book I need to finish up, the publishers are literally on my neck and your Father was just as busy" her mum replied.

"Speaking of which mum, where's dad?" Debbie asked. Immediately, her mum's face dropped". Then quickly, as though she remembered something, she put on the smile again and said "he's in Paris on a business meeting, he'll  be back in a couple of days". Her mum had mastered this art of acting or pretence as Debbie called it. Debbie had seen it all through her childhood, through to her teenage years and right until she left for London to study. It wasn't new to her.

"Mum, is Dad at it again? Is it that secretary of his again? Or perhaps it's the the PA this time? But for how long will you put up with this? Debbie continued. "When will you face your fears and come out of this facade you call a marriage"? We're all grown now, we'll understand"

"You wouldn't understand, Deborah. Anyway, I have to get back to work now. You go take a shower and have something to eat. I've asked the chef to prepare your favourite" her mum smiled, as she put on her reading glasses and unlocked her desktop computer.

Debbie's face dropped and the tears flowed freely as she watched her mum continue with the book she was writing. Writing fictional stories was how her mum lived the life she wished for, the life her husband never gave her. It was her only escape from her real life. 

**

As usual, leave your comments below and let me know what you think. If you like it, come back for more :)

How long is too long in a relationship? My response

Hi all,

Thanks for coming back again. So last week, I asked 'How long is too long in a relationship?' and I got some responses from my lovely readers, to that I say thank you :)

To start off, I'll like to say that anyone in a relationship should be in it with the intention of getting married to that person. You should go into relationships because 'you know' and not because you are trying to find out if they are The one. With that in mind, it's time to find out how long is too long?

I think my previous paragraph has pretty much answered the question. The thing is, if you go into a relationship trying to 'see how things go' or because everyone is in a relationship or just because you like that girl or guy, you are more likely to stay long in it, because from the start, that relationship has no vision or mission. It's just like driving a car with no destination in mind. If you both know where you're going there's no point in 'wandering' around for so long, only to break up at the end of the day. In order words, go into a relationship for a purpose and the ultimate purpose should be marriage.

Everyone is in a relationship is not a good enough reason to jump on the bandwagon. Time is not on your side is not a reason to get into a relationship? Why not wait until the Creator of time (God) sorts you out?

In my personal opinion, I see no reason why relationships should be going as far as 5,6,7 years and beyond. Understandably, there are exceptional cases and the bible does not give any timescale for relationships, but if you get into one for the right reasons, I doubt that you'd court for that long before getting married. Also longer relationships, would create room/time to fall into temptations. You already love the person, so why torture yourself and test your limits?

In summary, get into relationships for the right reasons, with a vision and a mission and you are less likely to waste time/years.

As always, please feel for to use the comment ps box below for suggestions, questions, queries or any other thing. You can also email me directly @ tomilolalawal@gmail.com

God bless you :)
xx

How Long is Too Long?

Nowadays, people are in relationships (romantic relationships) for quite a long time and for different reasons too. Some, because of the long distance, some because they started quite young,  some because of the numerous break-ups and make-ups in between and others just because they want to see how it goes.

So here's my question, how long do you consider too long to be in a relationship and why?

As usual use the comments box below and personal experiences are very much welcome too.
Look forward to reading from you soon :)

Tomi
xx

Is there such a thing as "the one"?- My response

Hi everyone,

I asked a question on my last post (see post below) and first of all, I'll like to say thank you for taking time out to respond.
From the responses I got, it appears most of us don't believe there is a "the one" and I have to say, there were a lot of valid arguments.
Now, here's my response to it.

At every given time, there's a perfect will of God for you. All the days He planned for us were written down before we even lived one of them (Psalm 139:16).

His perfect will for you could change (due to human factors, not necessarily from us), and because all things work together for our good, when His perfect will for us changes, it's going to seem so good, that it would seem as though that was the initial plan. Here's what I mean by his perfect will for us could change- for instance, the one that God prepared you for or prepared for you dies or gets married to someone else or you yourself get married to someone else. Does that mean you'd have to remain celibate or divorce the person? Absolutely not.

Remember that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28), so whether or not we are not married to "the one" (either by our own disobedience or otherwise), the one we are now married to, becomes "the one", simply because we love God and His Word says ALL will work for our good.

Take a look at what I said earlier- when God does something, He makes it so perfect that it looks like that was His initial plan for us, even though it might not have been the case.

Another very vital thing to note here is that we always have to be in tune with God to receive any updates from Him as at when necessary. In Genesis 22, when God told Abraham not to kill Isaac anymore, if Abraham was disconnected at that point, he may have killed Isaac because he did not hear God (a consequence of being disconnected) when He said "lay not thine hand upon the lad". In order words, even if you feel God is leading you to someone, stay connected to God and make sure you keep listening for updates from Him. The person may decide to disobey and get married to someone else or even decide to remain celibate, so what happens to you then? Hence, the need to stay connected. I strongly believe God can even lead you to pray against "the one" getting marrying to someone else (even if you don't know him/her at that time). It's all to do with staying connected with God.
By the way, this is not to say you should start praying against people's relationships, simply because you think they are "the one" lol. Be led by His Spirit and not your feelings!

In Genesis 24 when Abraham's servant was to pick a wife for Isaac, Abraham told the servant that if she refused to come with him, then he will be free from the oath. After that we see the servant pray to God for "the one" appointed for Isaac .

Now if she had not come with him, does that mean that Isaac will remain celibate? No, (except he chose to) it just means that another perfect will be created for Isaac. Rebekah like us all, had/have free will, so she could have decided not to go with him. It was completely up to her.

Just like Adam and Eve changed God's initial plan for the earth, because they made a choice to disobey, so also could we make choices that could change His initial perfect will for us. Nonetheless, everything He does is perfect.

In summary:
1. God has a perfect will for you.
2. All things work together for good to those who are called according to His purpose.
3. Stay connected to Him.
4. Acknowledge Him in ALL your ways and He will direct your paths.

Hope this helps?
Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions, opinions and questions below.

Look forward to reading from you. x

Is there a "the one"?

So it's about that time, you're single and you're ready or so it seems.  You see someone and you're thinking could this or this not be it? Or on the other hand, you might have those experiences when someone comes and says "God said you're my wife/husband" and loads of other stories like that.

So here's my question, as a Christian do you believe that there is one special person for you? Is there "the one" person that you are supposed to get married to? Or do you believe we could get married to anyone as long as they are Christian, after all, God has given us free will for a reason?

Please as much as possible, back up your answers with scriptures.

So go on, use the comments box and let's talk. xx

Our Confidence is in Christ

A lot of times when people dress inappropriately, use swear words or are in a relationship with someone, it isn't really because they just love to dress that way or they just love to use those words. It is because of underlying self-esteem issues. I'll tell you how.

As a lady, you're going to an event and you appear pretty much nude or you put up a picture on Facebook looking half-naked, why do you really do that? It's simple, you want people to see it and tell you you look good. And whilst it's totally normal (not necessarily acceptable) for us to seek assurance from people from time to time, it's wrong to find our identity through them. Those 50 guys that liked your picture or the countless number of guys that were  checking you out at the party do not know you. God does because He created you. You don't need them to tell you you're beautiful before you 'feel' beautiful. Your beauty is not up for debate, it's factual information from the bible. Go meditate on  Psalm 139:14. How can a perfect God create anything that's less than perfect?

For some guys, the only reason why they started swearing was because of the kind of friends they were hanging out with. And the only reason why they started hanging out with them was because they wanted to feel accepted. Here's the thing, you don't need anyone's seal of approval. Why conform to do world, when you are not of the world (John 15:19). You have been set apart as the light of the world and the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13-16). You are to show people of the world what way to go by the brightness of your light rather than going with what the world deems acceptable.

There are also the group of people who just shut themselves out from the rest of the world. They don't feel accepted they are too timid to talk. They feel like they are not good enough and lack self esteem. I used to be one of them. I had inferiority complex.

 You know when you see people and you think they are so perfect, they are beautiful, go to the best Universities, get the best grades, have the best jobs and even appeared to have the best relationships and you just feel inferior? Yup, I used to be that way.

One thing that has helped me out of it is knowing who I am in Christ. It's having a personal relationship with Him, communing with Him and knowing that I'm not just another statistic in the world. It's knowing my purpose in life.

Here's the thing, it doesn't matter where you've been or where you've come from. It doesn't even matter if those things about your past are self inflicted or not, all that matters is that God can and God will use them to shape a better future for you. Even better, He will make it so perfect that it will seem as though the wrongs you've done in the past were His initial idea.

Finally,  find yourself in God. Your true identity is in God and bask in that confidence. Don't insult God by demeaning your value. You are the work of His hands, His masterpiece!

Whose team are you on?

You can't blow hot and cold at the same time. You're either with God or with the devil. Hard pill to swallow I know, but it's the truth.

You go to church on Sundays but the night before you were at a rave/club/pub/bar. Who are you really serving? He isn't going to share His glory with anyone, neither is He going to share you with the devil. He wants all of you and not some of you.

You're not to serve God when it's convenient for you or when you feel like it. Heaven and hell are too real to play games with. Does God want you in heaven? Absolutely. But the choice is yours to make.

You say you're living right, but you hold anger and un-forgiveness in your heart, You only love those who love you back, you only give when there is something for you to receive and your idea of a relationship with God is the 2 hour you spend in church on Sundays. My  dear, wake up! You're living a lie.  

Don't see this as an extra curricular activity. I mean, just like you're into sports, music, fashion and then church as well. No! Christ should be the centre of all you do. In sports, music, fashion or any other thing you're into, Christ should be in the middle of it.

Some will probably read this and say who is she to judge and "condemn", but my Father knows I'm writing this out of pure love. Hell is real, very real and so is heaven. Rapture is real and the time is unknown and there's death too.

If you know you're currently living a lie or blowing hot and cold at the same time, make up your mind today. Who's team are you on? To whom do you belong? If you exit the world today, where do you think you'll go, honestly? Search your heart thoroughly and make a decision NOW!

I love you with the love of God.

P.s- if you're struggling with your salvation or you have any issues you want to discuss or pray about, please feel free to contact me- tomilolalawal@gmail.com

Faith

Faith I hear is the evidence of things not seen, the assurance of things we hope for.

Without faith, it's impossible to please Him, He says.

You believe in Him, but you have not seen Him yet, so you must have some faith, right? Yes, you do.

If you have faith as small as a this

a mustard seed,

you can move this

a mountain.wow!

You faith hasn't moved mountains yet? It's one of two things, you haven't tried or you faith is not as "big" as a mustard seed yet.

With your faith, you got your dream job? Schorlaship? Promotions? Healing? Great. Does it stop there?

Well yea, of you want it to. Can it do more? Well, yea if you want it to.

How can I tell? Well, you've got to test it.

Your faith isn't big enough yet? Then you've got to grow it.

How? Feed it with His Word.

Study His Sons' life on earth, His works and do what He did, simple!

Key word here is test it. That's how you know for sure that you've got it.

Faith is not just confession but manifestation.

Have a blessed week and put your faith to work.


Love you
xx

Salvation

A video on salvation.

Key scriptures- 1 Peter 3:9; Isaiah 1:18; Romans 6:1

Music Credit- No Gray- Jonathan Mcreynolds

She's Back...and Better!

I think you'll be pleased to know that....I'm back from my longggg break :)