How Long is Too Long?

Nowadays, people are in relationships (romantic relationships) for quite a long time and for different reasons too. Some, because of the long distance, some because they started quite young,  some because of the numerous break-ups and make-ups in between and others just because they want to see how it goes.

So here's my question, how long do you consider too long to be in a relationship and why?

As usual use the comments box below and personal experiences are very much welcome too.
Look forward to reading from you soon :)

Tomi
xx

Is there such a thing as "the one"?- My response

Hi everyone,

I asked a question on my last post (see post below) and first of all, I'll like to say thank you for taking time out to respond.
From the responses I got, it appears most of us don't believe there is a "the one" and I have to say, there were a lot of valid arguments.
Now, here's my response to it.

At every given time, there's a perfect will of God for you. All the days He planned for us were written down before we even lived one of them (Psalm 139:16).

His perfect will for you could change (due to human factors, not necessarily from us), and because all things work together for our good, when His perfect will for us changes, it's going to seem so good, that it would seem as though that was the initial plan. Here's what I mean by his perfect will for us could change- for instance, the one that God prepared you for or prepared for you dies or gets married to someone else or you yourself get married to someone else. Does that mean you'd have to remain celibate or divorce the person? Absolutely not.

Remember that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28), so whether or not we are not married to "the one" (either by our own disobedience or otherwise), the one we are now married to, becomes "the one", simply because we love God and His Word says ALL will work for our good.

Take a look at what I said earlier- when God does something, He makes it so perfect that it looks like that was His initial plan for us, even though it might not have been the case.

Another very vital thing to note here is that we always have to be in tune with God to receive any updates from Him as at when necessary. In Genesis 22, when God told Abraham not to kill Isaac anymore, if Abraham was disconnected at that point, he may have killed Isaac because he did not hear God (a consequence of being disconnected) when He said "lay not thine hand upon the lad". In order words, even if you feel God is leading you to someone, stay connected to God and make sure you keep listening for updates from Him. The person may decide to disobey and get married to someone else or even decide to remain celibate, so what happens to you then? Hence, the need to stay connected. I strongly believe God can even lead you to pray against "the one" getting marrying to someone else (even if you don't know him/her at that time). It's all to do with staying connected with God.
By the way, this is not to say you should start praying against people's relationships, simply because you think they are "the one" lol. Be led by His Spirit and not your feelings!

In Genesis 24 when Abraham's servant was to pick a wife for Isaac, Abraham told the servant that if she refused to come with him, then he will be free from the oath. After that we see the servant pray to God for "the one" appointed for Isaac .

Now if she had not come with him, does that mean that Isaac will remain celibate? No, (except he chose to) it just means that another perfect will be created for Isaac. Rebekah like us all, had/have free will, so she could have decided not to go with him. It was completely up to her.

Just like Adam and Eve changed God's initial plan for the earth, because they made a choice to disobey, so also could we make choices that could change His initial perfect will for us. Nonetheless, everything He does is perfect.

In summary:
1. God has a perfect will for you.
2. All things work together for good to those who are called according to His purpose.
3. Stay connected to Him.
4. Acknowledge Him in ALL your ways and He will direct your paths.

Hope this helps?
Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions, opinions and questions below.

Look forward to reading from you. x

Is there a "the one"?

So it's about that time, you're single and you're ready or so it seems.  You see someone and you're thinking could this or this not be it? Or on the other hand, you might have those experiences when someone comes and says "God said you're my wife/husband" and loads of other stories like that.

So here's my question, as a Christian do you believe that there is one special person for you? Is there "the one" person that you are supposed to get married to? Or do you believe we could get married to anyone as long as they are Christian, after all, God has given us free will for a reason?

Please as much as possible, back up your answers with scriptures.

So go on, use the comments box and let's talk. xx

Our Confidence is in Christ

A lot of times when people dress inappropriately, use swear words or are in a relationship with someone, it isn't really because they just love to dress that way or they just love to use those words. It is because of underlying self-esteem issues. I'll tell you how.

As a lady, you're going to an event and you appear pretty much nude or you put up a picture on Facebook looking half-naked, why do you really do that? It's simple, you want people to see it and tell you you look good. And whilst it's totally normal (not necessarily acceptable) for us to seek assurance from people from time to time, it's wrong to find our identity through them. Those 50 guys that liked your picture or the countless number of guys that were  checking you out at the party do not know you. God does because He created you. You don't need them to tell you you're beautiful before you 'feel' beautiful. Your beauty is not up for debate, it's factual information from the bible. Go meditate on  Psalm 139:14. How can a perfect God create anything that's less than perfect?

For some guys, the only reason why they started swearing was because of the kind of friends they were hanging out with. And the only reason why they started hanging out with them was because they wanted to feel accepted. Here's the thing, you don't need anyone's seal of approval. Why conform to do world, when you are not of the world (John 15:19). You have been set apart as the light of the world and the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13-16). You are to show people of the world what way to go by the brightness of your light rather than going with what the world deems acceptable.

There are also the group of people who just shut themselves out from the rest of the world. They don't feel accepted they are too timid to talk. They feel like they are not good enough and lack self esteem. I used to be one of them. I had inferiority complex.

 You know when you see people and you think they are so perfect, they are beautiful, go to the best Universities, get the best grades, have the best jobs and even appeared to have the best relationships and you just feel inferior? Yup, I used to be that way.

One thing that has helped me out of it is knowing who I am in Christ. It's having a personal relationship with Him, communing with Him and knowing that I'm not just another statistic in the world. It's knowing my purpose in life.

Here's the thing, it doesn't matter where you've been or where you've come from. It doesn't even matter if those things about your past are self inflicted or not, all that matters is that God can and God will use them to shape a better future for you. Even better, He will make it so perfect that it will seem as though the wrongs you've done in the past were His initial idea.

Finally,  find yourself in God. Your true identity is in God and bask in that confidence. Don't insult God by demeaning your value. You are the work of His hands, His masterpiece!