Is there such a thing as "the one"?- My response

Hi everyone,

I asked a question on my last post (see post below) and first of all, I'll like to say thank you for taking time out to respond.
From the responses I got, it appears most of us don't believe there is a "the one" and I have to say, there were a lot of valid arguments.
Now, here's my response to it.

At every given time, there's a perfect will of God for you. All the days He planned for us were written down before we even lived one of them (Psalm 139:16).

His perfect will for you could change (due to human factors, not necessarily from us), and because all things work together for our good, when His perfect will for us changes, it's going to seem so good, that it would seem as though that was the initial plan. Here's what I mean by his perfect will for us could change- for instance, the one that God prepared you for or prepared for you dies or gets married to someone else or you yourself get married to someone else. Does that mean you'd have to remain celibate or divorce the person? Absolutely not.

Remember that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28), so whether or not we are not married to "the one" (either by our own disobedience or otherwise), the one we are now married to, becomes "the one", simply because we love God and His Word says ALL will work for our good.

Take a look at what I said earlier- when God does something, He makes it so perfect that it looks like that was His initial plan for us, even though it might not have been the case.

Another very vital thing to note here is that we always have to be in tune with God to receive any updates from Him as at when necessary. In Genesis 22, when God told Abraham not to kill Isaac anymore, if Abraham was disconnected at that point, he may have killed Isaac because he did not hear God (a consequence of being disconnected) when He said "lay not thine hand upon the lad". In order words, even if you feel God is leading you to someone, stay connected to God and make sure you keep listening for updates from Him. The person may decide to disobey and get married to someone else or even decide to remain celibate, so what happens to you then? Hence, the need to stay connected. I strongly believe God can even lead you to pray against "the one" getting marrying to someone else (even if you don't know him/her at that time). It's all to do with staying connected with God.
By the way, this is not to say you should start praying against people's relationships, simply because you think they are "the one" lol. Be led by His Spirit and not your feelings!

In Genesis 24 when Abraham's servant was to pick a wife for Isaac, Abraham told the servant that if she refused to come with him, then he will be free from the oath. After that we see the servant pray to God for "the one" appointed for Isaac .

Now if she had not come with him, does that mean that Isaac will remain celibate? No, (except he chose to) it just means that another perfect will be created for Isaac. Rebekah like us all, had/have free will, so she could have decided not to go with him. It was completely up to her.

Just like Adam and Eve changed God's initial plan for the earth, because they made a choice to disobey, so also could we make choices that could change His initial perfect will for us. Nonetheless, everything He does is perfect.

In summary:
1. God has a perfect will for you.
2. All things work together for good to those who are called according to His purpose.
3. Stay connected to Him.
4. Acknowledge Him in ALL your ways and He will direct your paths.

Hope this helps?
Please feel free to leave comments, suggestions, opinions and questions below.

Look forward to reading from you. x


  1. Tomi, as they say in this generation, i think you nailed it! I agree, even though it's almost a traditional view that there is someone for you but because many of us are not in tune with God, we miss out. It kinda speaks to the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. May His will continually prevail in our lives.

  2. Yeah...there s a perfect one for us all only if we stay in tune with God..May God give us the grace never to depart from him...Amen

  3. Hmm Tomz, I agree with most of what you wrote; but I disagree with some parts.

    I definitely agree that God's will is good, perfect and acceptable (Rom 12:2).
    Concerning the issue of "the one", God would be unfair to allow His child e.g. a lady, to be left hanging if the guy that was "the one" for her chose to marry someone else. If we were left subject to people's decisions alone, we would be screwed! Thank God that He is merciful; and that even when we make mistakes, He still allows everything to work together for our good (Rom 8:28). I do believe that God has a choice for us in every situation though. Therefore, when we ask Him, He will show us His will i.e. His choice; and when we follow Him, we can enjoy His best for us. :)

    I don't agree that God's plan changes however. His plan does not change; it is constant. Nothing/ no one can change it. When Adam and Eve sinned, they did not alter God's plan. They acted against His will i.e. they did not do what He wanted them to do. However, because God created us and knows everything, He knew beforehand that they would sin; and so He had already factored that into His plan. Hence, Jesus was slain from the foundation of the world to reconcile mankind to God (Rev 13:8).

    Also, Proverbs 16:4 says "The Lord has made everything [to accommodate itself and contribute] to its own end and His own purpose—even the wicked [are fitted for their role] for the day of calamity and evil." Therefore, God has allowed it such that EVERYTHING contributes to its own end (i.e. free will) and His own purpose. We are His creation; and so even our choices are contributing to GOD'S OWN purpose.

    Hope that clarifies understanding on His plan and His will - they are different things. Someone can choose not to do God's will; but they cannot change God's plan - nobody has such power. No matter what happens on this earth/ whatever choices people make, God has factored everything within His eternal plan.

  4. @Tunji and Ejiro- thank you for your comments and amen, may we continually stay in tune with Him and His purpose for us.

    @Kemi- thanks for taking time out to leave a comment
    I think we are essentially saying the same thing though. Because God is the Almighty and the Alpha and Omega, He knows all. He knows all that will ever happen, whether or not it's His desire for it to happen.

    You mentioned that God's plan can never change, I beg to disagree with that. Take a look at Sodom and Gomorrah, when Abraham was interceding for them. He said Lord if you find fifty, forty-five, forty...righteous within the city, would you spare the place? And God said yes. So God would have changed His plan to destroy them. As seen in 2 Chron 7:14, I believe that the essence of intercession is to change God's mind towards something (a situation or people).

    Look at is this way, there are two circles, the inner one represents His perfect will/plan for the world and the outter circle represents what will happen, which He knows by virtue of His Omniscience

  5. Tomi, this is a lovely write-up n wonderful reply. Butressing that, we could take a look at hezekiah's life in 2kings 20

    If he had done nothing after isaiah's news, he definitely would have died.
    Turning to the wall thereby both dismissing Isaiah n entering into solitary confinement with God, he poured out his heart to d lord. And God heard him. God is a merciful God n his plan can change.

    Adegoke Adetoro

  6. I think you mean well with your article but I think that reasoning is a factor in why so many women in church remain single for a long time.

    God has given us choices in life, and blesses our choices. He will help us in knowing the traits which would make a good spouse, but ultimately he blesses our decision and after marrying it becomes "what God has joined together, let no man separate".

    I suggest you read around on some forums and Christian relationship/scholarly websites such as:

    ^This one just looks at traits to look for, which many people around you may have.

    ^This one wastes no time, although not very professional, its a good read and dissects the question straight away.

    Be blessed.

  7. Thanks for your comment Yemi.

    I've read it carefully, but I have to say I disagree with you. You're very correct in saying that we have a choice. But in Deut 30:19, God clearly shows us that we have a choice, but then let's us know which way we go. Also in Prov 3:6, the bible says acknowledge God in all your ways and He will direct you. Simply means, let Him in in all you do and He will direct you n what to do.

    If God is so interested in the little details of our lives, how much more something as big as marriage?

    Thanks again for your comment :)

  8. I agree with your paragraph in that of course he needs to be part and the forefront of it.
    But some people take things very literal, for example God will not (in most cases) put someone in front of you and say in a clear audible voice or through someone else, "this is your spouse".

    If you read the articles, you'll find there's only 2-3 occasions in the bible when it seemed God matchmade people, otherwise it was down to the man finding a wife; "he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing".

    There are many people who are compatible with each other, some more some less, in the end you can either wait until your in your late thirties wondering where he is, or meet people, pray about the person you feel attracted to, and with God's guidance, go from there.

    I encourage you to give them a read.

  9. I am totally for your opinion on this. I am not the one to talk alot about relationships and what not.

    But, here's also something I want to add, God's grand plan is to reconcile men back to him, I love the example of Abraham, Sodom and Gomorrah you mentioned... God ultimately has a plan but he won't come down to execute it for us. Jesus was 'Gods risk' our choice to either accept him or not and Just like you said.

    He really won't force anyone down our throats (But I know that there are cases where God will speak and instruct specifically that ''Marry him/her'') at the end of the day Its littered all over the scriptures that God is a match maker, and its important we let him do it for us.

    I think I have deviated abit. But, YES! I believe there is that one person God has proposed that you will help fulfill his mandate together as a couple. But sadly, we have today alot of unions that God didn't join together.


    1. Hi namesake :)

      Thanks for stopping by.
      And yes, it's so sad what goes on in many marriages today. Even the ones God ordained, but then either one or both parties, do no work in the marriage and expect is to be perfect just because 'God said'.




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