Diary of a Deprived Girl- 1


Surely, something was wrong; it shouldn’t take them so long to reply. No call, no text, no email, nothing. I had now exhausted all options in trying to reach them, but still, I knew something had to be done and before close of work too. I couldn’t afford to spend the entire evening trying to open a single email.
The internet in my house, well my mum’s house was frustrating. Just last week, Terry missed his very first job interview, just because he could not check his email. I blame him partially though, he should be generous enough to get himself a good phone with internet access. Common, it’s the 21st century.
Whilst mum had always complained about my very short attention span, I found it to be a blessing at times like this. Thinking about other things temporarily relieved my anxiety. “I’ll give it another 10minutes, if I still don’t hear anything then I’d give them a ring” I said to myself. I set my alarm, but there was really no need for that as I checked the clock every other minute. My alarm went off, I refreshed my email one last time, and there it was, the message I had been waiting for.
“Dear Tracy,
We reviewed your application with such keen interest, but we are sorry to…”
No, not again, no way, this can’t be happening, I did it right this time. With tears streaming down my face, I tried to think about a way out, but there seemed to be none in sight. I cleared my desk and went to speak to my manger, I had to let him know, I would be completely useless to the company for the rest of the afternoon, not with the state I was in.
***
What? You’ve got to be kidding me…Oh no, this can’t be true. You’re a waste, a complete waste. How did I end up with you? You have no idea how it felt hearing those words from the man I loved most in the world, the man I planned to say ‘I do’ to in a few months. Each word he said felt as though my skin was being pierced with a sword.
Theodore and I had our fights, but we soon resolved them and moved on. Most times, I ended up apologizing and practically begged him to stay with me even though he was mostly wrong. He was very good-looking, tall and dark, just the way I liked my men. I, on the other hand was in my late-twenties, my beauty was beginning to fade away (at least, that’s what mum said- that woman *sigh*). I couldn’t let him go, I couldn’t deal with yet another break-up and most of all, my biological clock was ticking.
You know what, I’m leaving and before I get back, there better be good news or else…
Or else, he would leave me. He did not need to say it, I had heard it all before, not once, not twice and not even from him alone. All the men I had had a close relationship with all left me at some point, excluding my father. He was the only man that loved me. Although mum took me away from him when they got divorced, the 7year old that I was then still knew He loved me. I slumped to the ground and wept more profusely, with each word Theodore or Tee as I fondly called him re-playing in my head.
Asides his physical appearance, I couldn’t really understand why I was with him. For starters, he was jobless and each time I talked about it, he would blow up a fuse and accuse me of not loving him unconditionally. Truth is, I did or at least I thought I did. Secondly, he was a cheat. I and my friends had seen him with FOUR different women in the past 8months of our relationship. Each of those times, I threatened to leave him but he would beg so hard and even cry. I couldn’t stand to watch him cry; it broke my heart each time I saw a tear drop from that chubby cheeks of his, but I couldn’t understand why the feeling wasn’t mutual.
I opened my eyes only to find out that it was 7am and I was still lying there on the floor, in my work clothes. I was about to get up when I felt a piece of paper by my arms as I stretched.
It read “Dear Tracy, had to leave for my family reunion. Your mum called, she said your dad is no more…I’m so sorry” What???
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1 comment:

  1. This just has to continue.... where's the concluding part???

    ReplyDelete

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