Dear Diary- Part 2

Monday, 02 December 2002

Dear Diary,

Today was really tough for me. I walked past a couple of girls talking about how excited they were about the upcoming Christmas break and the memories just came flooding in. *Sigh*

It's almost 10 years, but I am still the most unhappy person. I have to admit this, I'm sad, I live a sad life. My days are filled with torments from my past, I have no friends and no family. As much as I hate to admit it, Mrs Morgan was right, I had a very sad childhood. But why should I get the blame for it? My parents killed each other during a very heated argument on Christmas eve and the 5 year old me had to witness it. Not just me, my twin brother was there too. And then two years after that, the said brother died in his sleep in my aunt's house on Christmas day, that was the end of him. How do you even make sense of that? You can't imagine what I was going through at that time, no Stacey, you have no idea.



Anyway, my aunt finally decided I had turned rebellious, so she couldn't take care of me anymore and I found myself in a care home. That was the beginning of the end of me. I'm actually surprised as to how long I've managed to stay alive, despite my several suicide attempts. Keep this a secret please.

Anyway, I'm going to cry myself to sleep now and if I'm still alive tomorrow, I'll talk to you.
Good night Stacey x

Wednesday, 04 December 2002

Dear Diary,

Guess who was here today? My aunt! She wants me to come spend the Christmas break with her, just so that we could try to mend things, lol. She's such a comedian, isn't she?

Anyway, I refused to see her, but she spoke to my career and asked her to pass the message on. I already declined, but Ms. Hill, my carer still wants me to reconsider. I wish I could explain why I declined, but she wouldn't take likely to my reason. Or do you think she'll understand that I don't want to go because I'll definitely kill my aunt? She wouldn't right? I thought so too.

But Stacey, sometimes, (very rarely though) I feel like I have no real reasons to hate her. She hasn't done anything bad to me, at least not directly. If anything, she helped us; my brother and I when my parents died and.... Argh, that voice in my head is back again, it's telling me I have reasons to hate her, my brother died in her house, for all I know she killed him in his sleep and the same voice is telling me she sent me to this care home that I hate so much, but then again, I had truly become rebellious. Oh well, I think the voice is right, I have reasons to hate her.

So I guess my decision stands then. I'm glad you could talk through this with me.
xx

Wednesday, 11 December 2002

Dear Diary,

Stacey, am I going mad? You wouldn't believe what I did today. Okay, okay, I'll explain. Ms. Hill and I had a snow fight today, it wasn't planned but it was fun. She can be quite fun to hang around sometimes, you know? Anyway, that's completely irrelevant.

After the snow fight, we settled down for a cup of coffee whilst our hands defrosted (by the way, that's the worst part of having snow fights, that process of defrosting is so painful). Again, I deviate. Back to my story. Over coffee, I don't know what she said to me, but she managed to convince me to go to Aunt Rosa's place for Christmas....and I agreed! Actually, I think she may have hypnotised me. Otherwise, why would I say yes? Isn't that just accepting invitation to become a murderer?

Anyway, I'll keep you posted. I leave on the 20th. Don't worry, you're coming with me. At least, that way, when the police start investigating the soon to be murder of Aunt Rosa, you can give the detailed explanation of how it happened.