Are you Two-timing?

Before you read this, you should know I'm still a 'work-in-progress' myself and I'm definitely still working on some of these things. But the truth has to be said whether I'm comfortable with it or not.

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1. You believe in saving sex till marriage because the bible commands it, but yet, you’re comfortable watching TV shows, movies and music videos that openly practice and promote these very things that the bible preaches against.

2. You don’t curse or swear because you strongly believe that as a Christian you shouldn’t, but yet, you’re very comfortable listening to songs that are filled with such profanity.

3. You dress modestly at all times because you know your body is the temple of the Holyspirit, but yet you have no issues complementing your friends and celebrities on social media who are pretty much naked.

4. You believe Jesus is the way, the truth and the light and you believe He is the only way to an eternity with God, but yet you are comfortable being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share the same beliefs as you do.

5. You say you love the Lord deeply and you say He comes first in your life, but yet you are comfortable with giving him just 2 hours in your seven-day week. The two hours is the time spent in church, by the way.

6. You say you love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind, but you ignore the fact that loving Him means obeying His commandments which includes preaching the gospel to every creation.

So check yourself, are you really sold-out to Him or are you just two-timing and picking and choosing?

Blindness in the Church

“Rev 3:15-17 “I know everything you have done, and you are not cold or hot. I wish you were either one or the other. ¹⁶ But since you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spit you out of my mouth. ¹⁷ You claim to be rich and successful and to have everything you need. But you don’t know how bad off you are. You are pitiful, poor, blind, and naked”

In these last days, the church has become blinded by so many things or should I say everything? And by the way, when I say church, I mean members of the body of Christ.

Remember when you first gave your life to Christ and you felt like talking about Christ to anyone and everyone you saw? Remember how you used to constantly think about the rapture and meeting your King? But now are those thoughts still there? Or have you become so consumed by your everyday life, needs, wants that you’ve totally forgotten about God? Think about that before you answer it. 

I’m not asking about whether you still go to church or read your bible, no! I’m asking about whether you’re still connected to God. Being connected to God means being in tune with His will and His heart. It means you live everyday as though it’s your last and going all out for God. Being connected to God means your prayer time is not always filled with “I need, I want”. So again I ask, are you still connected with God or have you become lukewarm- neither cold nor hot? You’re not cold in the sense that you still stick to the ‘rules and regulations’- you know, still going to church, having your quiet time daily, not fornicating, not swearing and so on. But at the same time, you’re not hot because there’s absolutely no fire for God burning in you anymore.

Consciously and unconsciously, you’ve been blinded by the things you see (the job, the family issues, the money e.t.c.), completely forgetting that they are temporary- 2 Corinthians 4:18 “Things that are seen don’t last forever, but things that are not seen are eternal. That’s why we keep our minds on the things that cannot be seen.” When I say you’ve been blinded by them, I mean you’ve let them consume you completely. That’s what is always in your thoughts, your actions, your conversations and even in your dreams.

You need to check yourself, has rapture become such a distant reality to you? I mean, you know the end will come, but have you’ve subconsciously made it an event that would not occur in the foreseeable future? Think about it before you answer and check if your current lifestyle reflects the same answer you give.

In rounding this up, this is what God is saying to you right now “If you remain in that state of lukewarmness, I’ll spit you out of my mouth”. It’s time to wake up from your slumber and do away with the blindness.

In your twenties and still don't have your life figured out? Read this!

Source

So you're done with University/College, you've even gone a step further and are on course for a Masters degree, but you still have no clue what you want to do afterwards? Fear not, you're not alone.

I know this because I've met people who are in their twenties and are not sure what they want to do. Some of them do have dreams of what they'll like to do, but the world stage doesn't seem to be set for them to make their grand entrance just yet. They are constantly faced with the fears and possibility of never achieving those dreams. As a matter of fact, the dreams seem so distant now that the likelihood of it being fulfilled in this lifetime seems almost non-existent.

Source

In fact, let's take a step back, what if you don't even have a clue what you want to do at all and maybe you never have. You're reading about those who have dreams which seem so distant and you're thinking to yourself "I don't even have that". The future seems so bleak and the constant "so what's next?" you get asked every other day isn't helping matters, what do you do? I mean, what parent would like to hear that their  22 year old son is still clueless on what he wants to do with his life ; so you mumble something along the lines of  "I would like to start a career in investment banking'. But deep down, you know it's all lies.

So if that's you, here are my top five tips for what to do when you're in your twenties and you still don't have your life figured out.

1. Understand that you're not alone- You and I are certainly not the only ones who haven't got their whole  lives figured out yet. I know this because I've met other people like us and there are many more we are yet to meet. There are also people who are chasing jobs or are already in jobs/businesses they know they don't even want. It's not the life they want to live, but they've decided to make do (which is great, provided you don't settle in it permanently).

2. Stop beating yourself up over it- It's frustrating, I know. In fact, it's so embarrassing that you even find it difficult to admit it to yourself. You've spent all these time studying, trying to grow and mature and yet, it seems like you have nothing to show for it. It's okay, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. The fact that you finished with the best grades and attended the best educational institutions does not automatically translate to having your life figured out. Rather than beating yourself up, why not take the time to get to know yourself- your gifts, your talents, your likes/dislikes? Isn't that better use of time?

3. Pray- This is perhaps the best tip I can give you. Pray without ceasing, pray tirelessly, pray and pray again. Okay, I think I've repeated the word 'pray'enough, so I'll stop now..LOL. Here's the thing, God created you, knows you best and has a plan for your life. Yes, He does. The earlier you believe that, the earlier you can start your journey into a purpose-filled life. Even if you feel like you've wasted time at jobs you hate or studying for degrees you didn't enjoy, God can and will use those experiences and knowledge for your good. He's an expert at making something out of nothing.

4. Trust God- As you pray and God begins to reveal His purpose for your life and as you begin to have dreams (both day dreams and night dreams) about your ideal future, trust God. They may seem so big, actually they will seem so big that your mind can't comprehend how they will become realities, just trust God. Leave the 'how' to Him. Also, as you pray, understand that you may not receive the full picture, just begin to work on what He is already revealing to you and trust in Him to direct your paths.

5. Have fun and enjoy the 'now'- This is so vital. I don't want you to fall into the trap (or remain in the

trap) of those who are always looking forward to the future hence, fail to enjoy the now. Go out, have fun, meet people, read books, go on holidays (if you can afford it of course :D) and just genuinely have fun. Do whatever excites you and enjoy this present moment whilst planning for the future.

I know for fact that the 'twenties period/fresh out of uni' season of our lives can be quite daunting, exciting and anxiety-filled all at the same time. But I hope that with these few tips, you will be able to make the best out of it. Remember to take it one-step at a time, work with what you have now and stop building castles in the air (this in no way implies that you should not have faith).

Thanks for reading.
xx

Through the Lens of a 12-year Old- Part 2

I finally got round to writing the concluding part of this story. It took me about five months. lol. If you missed the first part, read it here . Enjoy!

***

I just got back from school and I was surprised to find mum at home. She was sat in the living room, watching TV. The thing is my mum is hardly ever at home, how much more on a week day when she should be at work with her ‘manager’. Here I am, just sat in the study pretending to do my homework, but I’m very restless. I have this burning urge to go speak to mum about everything that’s been going on in this place we call home. I just don’t know what to say to her. I’m petrified. Should I? Should I not? What if she snaps? She always does. She has the worst mood swings. But what have I to lose? I’ll do it.

Vlog- The Love of God

Hello everyone,

I'm back this week with a video where I talk about the love of God and accepting His love.
I pray it blesses you.

As always, please leave a comment below, I love to hear from you :)

xx

Musings: Is Experience Really the Best Teacher?

You know how they say experience is the best teacher, right? And you know how sometimes we go through things and in trying to understand why, the only logical reason we can come up with is that maybe God wanted us to learn from this for the sake of others in the future? But I was just thinking, do we really have to learn from things like that? Would God put us through those situations MAINLY to be able to offer advise or help to others who go through stuff like that in the future? Would that really be the ultimate reason?

I know what Romans 8:28 says, but isn't  that scripture more like a case of 'in spite of' rather than 'because of'? I mean, doesn't that scripture imply that despite what happens, since we love God, it will be for our good. From that verse, the meaning I get is that even though the situation or the occurrence may not be His perfect will, but because we love God, He would make it work together for our good. In other words, it will be used to our own advantage, despite it not being His perfect will. Make sense? Okay, let me give an example. You had a loved one who had a terminal disease and you prayed, believed and trusted in God for his/her healing, but the person still died. Years down the line, you start to meet people who have lost loved ones to the same disease and some have even lost their faith as a result. For each person, you are able to successfully encourage them and uplift them. As a result of these 'success stories', you start to think that maybe God allowed you to go through that experience because of all these people you're now encouraging and ministering to. But my question is, would God really have to let that person die just so you can have that personal experience and subsequently help others going through it as well? Do we have to have such personal experiences before we can identify with the pains and sufferings of others?

Okay, let's take a look at Jesus. Hebrews 4:15 says He identifies with our weaknesses/infirmities, but when He was on earth, did He personally go through all of the things we go through? Did He fall sick? Did He lose a family member? Did He have family members with terminal illnesses? But yet, the bible says He understands and identifies with these things. In the Amplified version, it says He has a 'shared feeling' with our weaknesses and infirmities. In other Words, He feels these things (exactly as we feel them), but from His time here on earth, as bible records show, He did not personally go through ALL these things.

Several times in the bible, we see how Jesus was moved with compassion and carried out several miracles because of it. So shouldn't we as Christians (like Christ) be able to understand and identify with the sufferings of others without necessarily going through it personally. I mean, it might not come naturally, but can't we pray that God helps us feel people's pains and sufferings (not personally, but as they feel it), so that we can be moved with compassion as well and subsequently do something about it? For instance, from time to time, I usually pray that God breaks my heart for the things that breaks His. This isn't just about things I do that may break His heart, but more so things that others do.

To wrap this up, here's a personal experience I had recently. I found myself crying (almost wailing..lol) about young people and how far away they had gone from God. It really, really hurt me and made me very sad and it somehow gave me a glimpse of how unhappy God is about it  as well. Although, I'm pretty sure that how I felt is not even one tenth of how God feels. So if I could share in God's feeling about how far away young people are from God, could I not also feel what people feel when they lose someone or say suffer a heart break, without having to go through these things personally? Is experience really the best teacher or should I say better teacher? What do you think? I really want to hear from you.

P.S.- I feel like I was rambling a lot in this post and I'm not even sure I've been able to communicate properly and put my thoughts into words accurately. Anyway, I'll let you be the judge of that.

xx

Vlog- On Gifts.

Here's a video where I talk about gifts. My prayer is that it ministers to you and blesses you.

Please feel free to leave comments in the comments section below.

xx

Vlog- New feature!

Please watch, leave comments and suggestions below.

Email- tomilolalawal@gmail.com
Facebook- Tomi Lawal

Sister-Zoned (Part 2)

Hi peeps,
Here's the conclusion to the sister-zoned story in my previous post. If you haven't read it yet, pls read it here before you read this. It would make more sense. And as usual, please drop a few words in the comments section. I love reading from you. xx

**

"Girl, are you kidding me, he wrote that? Gosh, this Segun guy is in a class of his own o."  Biola finished off. "Anyway, I'll look on the bright side, he's not interested abi? No wahala, at least I got to find out now. Better late than never" I consoled myself as I walked to my car and bade Biola goodbye.

The next few days were particularly difficult for me. I didn't realise how close and attached I had become to Segun and breaking the attachment so abruptly wasn't the easiest of things. I had to stop myself from texting him anytime I felt the urge to, which was every five minutes or so. Everything reminded me of him. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the tears. I couldn't even explain it. Why was I so emotional about this? We didn't break up, I mean we were never together, so why all these emotions? The fact that I couldn't place my hands on it frustrated me the more. After about two weeks of trying hard to avoid Segun, ignoring his calls and hardly replying his texts, I was finally going to see him. It was inevitable, I had to be at Laura's birthday dinner.

Sister Zoned? You're not Alone, Read my Story.

It was a beautiful sunny Saturday, the birds chirped happily, children played joyfully by the make shift playground opposite my house and I was all dressed ready to meet up with Segun- my long lost friend.

Back at Unilag, Segun and I were inseparable. I mean, being one of the few female students studying Mechanical Engineering meant that I had lots of guys around me all the time, but in the midst of them all, Segun had a special place in my heart. We were often teased about being an 'item' but we shoved it off. I was way too concerned with getting a first class at the time, so relationships were the last thing on my mind. But that was three years ago, the story is different now. I'm so ready for the next phase of my life. I've got the first class honours, the job to die for at Chevron, but no guy on the horizon. I'm so tired of being a professional bridesmaid. I can even vouch that I make the most visits to Bella Naija website, but only to look at the wedding section. This wedding fever is so bad that there's barely any guy I meet without wondering if he's "the one".

Just to check up on you.

Hi Hi Hi (Why did I even have to say that three times?). Anyway, how are you doing? and no, that's not a rhetorical question, I really do want to know how you are doing (I'm caring like that *pats self on the back*) and don't just say 'fine' if you're not fine. Why does everyone do that (myself inclusive)? If you're not fine, it's okay to say so sometimes and to the right people too. You know what they say about a problem shared being half solved? Yea, so learn to share.

I on the other hand, I'm doing okay. I've been 'up and down' a little bit, but I'm getting there. For those who don't know, I'm currently doing my masters and that on its own has been a roller coaster of emotions. One day I'm good and I'm like 'yea, this is fun, I can do this' and the very next day I'm like 'how did I get here? Nobody told me what to expect before I got in here'. The funny thing is my friend and I have been going through the exact same emotions, but the good thing about it however is that, usually when I'm down, she's good, so she encourages me and vice versa. But all in all, it is good. One thing I am 100% sure of is that I'll definitely look back in the not too distant future and thank God for my time at LSE (not that I'm not already thanking Him though). I'm so certain that He has an expected end for me and it's good. But just because I'm not usually able to see the full picture most times, I get into doubts, fear and worry sometimes (I'm sorry about that, Dad). *Notice how I call Him Dad?, We cool like that, lol*

Away from Uni now, let me tell you about my personal life, grab your popcorn and fizzy drink (just imagine it's Orange Wednesday and you're at the cinema, it's Wednesday after all. You don't know what orange Wednesday is? Oh well, google is your buddy. Ok, I'll just tell you- it's 2 for 1 offer for cinema tickets on Wednesdays and it's available to those on Orange network). Anyway, back to my personal life, as I was saying... actually, there's nothing to say or maybe there is or is there really? I don't know,you tell me. Lol.
Nah, I kid, there's nothing to say (not right now anyway).

This is just me checking up on you and trying to find out how you are genuinely doing? Good, not so good? So go on, use the comments section and tell me how you are. You never know, I might be able to help or know someone who can. Enjoy the rest of your February, until I come your way again :)

Tomi

xx

Through the Lens of a 12-year Old

...I really hate it when you do that" mum finished off in an exasperated tone as she marched upstairs. "What now my dear?" Dad followed swiftly behind her in an attempt to pacify her. It was too late, mum had gotten to her room, slammed the door and locked it. Dad was about to yell, but then he turned around and saw me, tears rolling down my cheeks. He ran to me, hugged me tightly and kept apologising.

See, this had been the scene in my house for as long as I could remember. My parents were always at each other's throats. My mum always seemed to complain about everything, dad could never do right as far as she was concerned, she would even tell me hurtful stories about dad, just to get me on her side. But the 12 year old me, knew better. The problem wasn't dad. It was her.

New Year? What Changes?

Happy new year people!!! And welcome to my first blog post of the year.

Is it just me that refused to tweet, instagram or Facebook anything about Christmas or new year? I felt all the generic greetings were so cliche, so I decided against it. I should have done something innovative rather than just leave it, right? Anyway, let's get straight into the reason for this post.

Alright, we get it, it's 2014, it's a new year, a new dawn, a new season and so on and so forth, but does that automatically mean everything is going to change for you? Certainly not! I'm really sorry that I had to be the one to break the news to you, but oh well someone had to do it. The new year is only going to be as good as you make it. The key word here being what YOU make of it.

There's a saying that goes something like 'it's foolishness to do something continually and expect a different result' and I have to say, it's so true. You have to make the change you want, change doesn't just happen, it is made. It takes effort, determination, perseverance and much more than just wishful thinking. For example, if you say you want to get your drivers' licence this year, do you just sit in your house day in, day out hoping the postman will drop it the letter box? No. You have driving lessons, you book a test and you take the driving test or tests as the case may be (lol). 

My point is this, you have to take steps to achieve those dreams, goals and aspirations. You really didn't have to wait till 1st January to make those resolutions. You might as well have made them on 3rd September, 25th December or any other day for that matter. But now that you've waited till January, bring those dreams and aspirations alive. You really can achieve whatever you want to, with God's help of course (Philippians 4:13). Make 2014 different from every other year you've had. Commit ALL your ways into His able hands (Proverbs 3:5-6).

You know what I would like you to do? Scrap the goals you've written down (if you have) and if you haven't good for you; instead prayerfully seek His face and write down goals you want to achieve this year. Make sure it aligns with what He wants you to do this year. They could be Spiritual, career, academic, financial, personal or whatever. Make sure they are SMART.

S- Specific- I will study the bible in one year (not, I want to grow in my knowledge of God)

M- Measurable- By 31st March, I will have won 10 souls to His kingdom (not I want to win souls to His kingdom)

A- Achievable- I want to become a UK size 6 by end of January even though I'm a size 20 at the moment (you might as well be saying you want to fall sick..lol)

R- Realistic/Relevant- The example above could fall into this category as well

T- Time-bound- Well by virtue of having them as goals for 2014, they are somewhat time-bound.

As I wrote this, I realised that my goals for 2014 were not very SMART. So I will make changes where necessary :)

One more thing, review them periodically. Don't leave it till 31 December before you conduct a performance review, cos by then, it will be too late to make any changes.

Wishing you a splendid 2014! And keep me informed as to how you get on with your goal-setting.

xx